Last week I thought everything would make a good post. Everything is new. Everything is open to Kimterpetation. But what is actually interesting? I mean, how much of me riding up hills and describing the pain in my lungs can you actually stomach before hightailing it over to some blog about the goings on of some other person in your life? Goodness me, I know it. You know it. We've got to keep this blog interesting by George*!
Meanwhile... my pocketbook continues to mock me with it's diet and consistent weight loss. Hence our first Seattle post. Not the (free) Library, which proved itself too stimulating to wrap up into a single post. Nor the (free) pretty Lincoln Park with it's steep trails down to the beaches of sand, surf and driftwood. Ladies and Gentlemen, I present to you: Cyber Dog. Featured in the "cheap eats" section of many restaurant guides. Those of you playing along in Minneapolis can think of a love child between The Wienery (but no meat options) and Electric Fetus with an upbringing by Caffetto. Not quite there with me? Good thing I took notes...
Nestled into the bottom of a tall concrete and nondescript building/underpass/parking garage next to the Seattle Convention Center, our happy little cyber cafe and disher of dogs sits. The space is as large as a two floor condo's living room. It is stuffed with plush puppy toys and ceramic mutts. They contort themselves, wedged into pipes that line the ceilings underneath ripped silver insulation. More are stuck onto lamps of popping colors and styles. Parisian on moment, middle eastern the next. Whatever seemed to be left over from a family friend's move or on sale at the Pier One.
Cherry or sunset orange dipped walls give the room depth and a solid background. Red buckets hang from where the air conditioner must drip in the summer.
Framed reviews below movie posters and music posters keep the colors from overpowering your vegetarian hot dog experience:
Bob Dylan
Stanley Kubrick
Radiohead
Cute puppies (not a band)
The Doors Album push pined into the wall.
Janis Joplin
Audrey Hepburn
David Bowie
Marilyn Monroe
In between the dogs, posters and the foodstuffs, wind chimes umbrellas, typewriters, gumball machine and about 6-7 black flat screen computers fill any remaining walkway areas. Here, you to pay to use the Internet. Here, you might be too distracted to actually use it.
As I look at my dog covered entirely in chili, in a huge paper boat in a plastic basket. Slices of fresh and soft avocado and crunchy green onions sprinkled on top of the melted cheese and tomatoes, the proprietor carries on conversation to keep the rain outside from dampening our spirits. (Yes. I just used that joke. I make no apologies.)
Tania talks with a fab Russian Jewish American (?, she said she was a Russian Jew... I made a guess) accent and makes jokes with the patrons one minute, and points out the subtlety of the Russian Operatic melody/harmony that starts after the samba a moment before.
We start talking about movies, Marlon Brando and the fact that People Magazine's Sexiest Man of 2007 was Matt Damon and none of us think he should have it. How Mickey Rourke is not attractive anymore. I like her a lot. I want her to be my grandma or aunt. She points out the television in the corner playing a classic black and white movie I can't place. It's Crime and Punishment. She volunteers the moral of the story. Actually three of them, using her fingers to list them off.
1. Thou shalt not kill.
2. Crime leads to more crime.
3. Punishment is within yourself.
...
Good to know.
SO! They give you a peppermint patty with your knife and fork and napkin. How sweet is that? What else? Well...
A mini van 3rd seat sized couch has a selection of hippy pillows flattened against the blanket covering the upholstery; and one with a bulldog cross stitched into it.
The counter is crammed with wrapped pastries and cookies.
A professionally printed menu board that looks exactly like the website's menu is mounted high above the espresso machine and syrups.
Running along the perpendicular wall is the Coca Cola machine stocked with juices and colas of higher quality. No Diet Dr. Pepper though:
Several stands that have bags of chips and cookies are set in front of the 4ft high counter. There's barely enough room to order from the counter girl before sitting down and using the net. You pay when you leave.
A LIFE SIZE James Dean cut out "leans" against the wall to greet people who walk in.
This may be my new favorite place for cheap food... as long as I'm not required to kiss anyone within 24 hours of consumption.
See? This city can't be so bad with a place like this. This city will be good to me. If it's good to two ladies just out to sell healthy hot dogs to people, it will be good to me. Or else.
Wishing you hot dogs, veggie dogs, corn dogs, wiener dogs, hot rods and all the fixings...
Love love love,
K.
*I tried hard to find the real origin of this phrase. I couldn't get a definitive answer. Anyone want to help me out? Julie? Sarah? Dad? Anyone?
13 hours ago