Meringue, Cut Outs, Pot Holes

In about 16 or so hours (18 if they lollygag) I'll be sleepily welcoming 5 guests into our Chicago apartment for a weekend of merriment and bike culture. By Monday evening I'll be worn out and presumably sick and tired of trackstands and messenger bags. Maybe.

One topic of conversation between Joel and I has been the three major factors of awful street states here in our big big city. We've come up with the big three to always warn out of town bikers of:

Hazard Numero Uno: "Meringue"
This consists of squares of any length and width, cut from the street surface and replaced by what can only be described as a blind and drunk cartoon elephant - oozing the concrete from it's trunk like the child of you imagined they do to put out fires when serving on the volunteer zoo fire brigade. The pachyderm staggers away from the unsettled mixture without so much as smoothing it out. For good measure it probably steps in it too. The dried result is ours to live with. See...



Hazard Two: "Cut Outs"
I'm hoping the reasoning behind this failure of urban infrastructure maitenance is intended to actually help our good city's streets. But so far I my hopes have been pretty empty. One morning you'll ride on your regular route - before any coffee to wake you up - and quickly notice a massive (10ft x 10ft sometimes) square missing from the street... coming up in about two seconds worth of riding time. Without proper notice, you have little or no choice but to slow down as much as possible and ride through the square of pinchflat-dom. Tomorrow you'll know better. You'll signal to the cars behind you that you are actually avoiding this gulf of scratched up pavement 2 inches below the rest of the road. You'll go around it and all will be ok. Unless they box you in. Then you pray you remembered a tube and you can change the flat in time to get to work.




Hazard Three: "Potholes"
You know them. We all do. They don't really get covered for a while and when they do they leave a pock-marked post-adolescent complexion to stretches of neighborhood streets. You choose your paths wisely to keep to the center, swerve to the left and then to the right, just to keep your teeth from falling out of your jaw during the bone shaking 20 seconds it takes you to get to the end of the block.

(Photo from a flickr search: Thanks to Hacocayb!)



So now, dear two wheeled loved ones. Take heed of my warnings. The streets are waiting for you. I am too! Drive safe.

Wishing you all safe travels this Labor Day weekend!

Love love love,

K.